


Mistakes Were Made

by Brachylagus_fandom



Category: Suite Life of Zack & Cody
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Paperwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7431489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brachylagus_fandom/pseuds/Brachylagus_fandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Mr. Moseby had to amend the hotel rules and one time he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistakes Were Made

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saiditallbefore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiditallbefore/gifts).



> Shenanigans as requested, though it managed to turn relatively Moseby-centric somewhere along the way.

**11\. Time travel is not allowed.**

When he had time to be absentminded, Moesby liked to ponder the great mysteries of the universe. Why were they here? Was there intelligent life somewhere else in the universe? How, exactly, did he get roped into being a surrogate father to Tipton Hotel's signature Terror Twins, quite possibly the most naive teenage girl in the history of mankind, and the surprisingly normal Maddie Fitzpatrick?

 _Why is there a wild cat running around the lobby_ was not a question he had ever particularly wanted to ask, but he definitely needed an answer to it. Preferably in the next minute and a half, along with a solution. Upon further observation, he realized that he also needed an explanation for why the predator in question appeared to be a saber-toothed tiger.

Just as he was about to start yelling, the twins ran up. Zack was carrying a tranquilizer gun that Moseby didn't want to know how it had fallen into the teen's hands; Cody was following him and looking sheepish. Everything after that happened in very short order, just as the twins high-fived, sure that they had solved the problem and wouldn't get caught, Moseby cleared his throat. They both jumped as they turned around.

"Get that thing back to wherever it came from and go to my office. _Now._ " The twins fled.

Later, he would have to sit through Cody's explanation of how he had built a working (if imprecise) time machine and Zack's excuses for bringing back the tiger. The time travel ban was the first particularly odd rule he had to add to the Boston Tipton's Guest and Staff Guidelines, but it was far from the last.

* * *

**16\. Do not enter Cody Martin's laboratory without express permission or touch anything inside it.**

The fire department was laughing at him. Well, possibly they were laughing at Cody trying to strangle Zack or Maddie's recently shortened hair, but most likely they were laughing at him in his singed suit.

"What happened?" Zack, at least, had the dignity to look sheepish.

"Well…"

"He broke into my lab and smashed my supplies!" Cody yelled.

"Why did you have chemicals that could do this?" Moseby asked, gesturing to the recently scorched hotel. It was Cody's turn to be embarrassed.

"They normally wouldn't, but Zack decided to cause several reactions on top of flammable surfaces…"

"You will be tightening your safety standards, Cody." The boy nodded. "Zack, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I was bored?" Cody resumed his attempts at fratricide.

"You broke into and destroyed _my_ lab because you were _BORED?_ Do you have _any idea_ what was _in there_?"

"Nothing much anymore… OW! Mom, make him stop!" This was definitely one of the days where he hated his job.

* * *

  **21\. That being said, he is responsible for anything that gets out.**

"Cody, why are there bunnies in my lobby?" The twins blanched.

"They're in the _lobby_?" At Moesby's nod, Zack started cursing. "Is anyone in there?"

"It doesn't matter, Zack, they've probably already escaped." Cody sounded resigned to running through the entire city.

"We can still catch the ones in there. Every one we catch is one less we need to find."

"What are you two talking about?" The boys, who had been walking towards the lobby, paused.

"There was an accident," Cody explained. "The rabbits got out. They might be carnivorous."

"Might?"

"Probably are."

"Why, exactly, do you have carnivorous rabbits?"

"Biology project." Of course.

"This is your official second notice that all your experiments need to be reviewed for safety or permanently moved out of the Tipton Hotel."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

  **62\. No matter how well trained they are, undomesticated animals (e.g., wildlife, saber-toothed tigers, dodos, dragons, etc.) are not allowed in the lobby.**

"Is that a dodo?" Cody looked up from his book to see the offending bird, which was trying to steal from the candy counter.

"Probably. How long do you think it'll take Zack to come in here with a net?"

"Five minutes, tops. Why do all the weird creatures congregate in the lobby?"

"I don't know. Maybe because of the exit."

"Great, so the things your brother manages to set loose want to wreak havoc on Boston."

"Hey, at least it's not a dragon this time."

"Where did he even find that thing?"

"The dodo is from the past, just like the other extinct animals were. I don't want to know where the dragon came from."

"That's probably a good thing." With that, a roar came from upstairs. "What's that?"

"Nothing good. Should we just fill in the forms and leave them on Mr. Moseby's desk for when he gets back?"

"We should probably evacuate the hotel first," Maddie replied, noticing what looked like a velociraptor sneaking down the stairs.

"Good idea."

* * *

  **84\. Setting people on fire is not a method of problem solving.**

"Madeline Margaret Genevieve Miranda Catherine Fitzpatrick!" Moseby winced. He had never seen Sister Dominique this mad, and he was officially registered as London's guardian by the school.  Then again, he had never seen her set on fire before. "I am going to call your mother this minute and when we're through you'll be lucky if you ever see a boy again!"

"Sister Dominique, Miss Fitzpatrick is not responsible for the boys' actions," Moseby interrupted. "No one has ever quite managed to keep them from doing whatever they wanted."

"She could have stopped them!"

"She extinguished the fire, ma'am. That should be good enough. On a separate note, you should not be reprimanding a student for something they couldn't prevent in my lobby. If you are going to put Maddie in detention for the rest of her life, you need to do it on school grounds." Sister Dominique left in a huff. "Boys, never do that again. Sister Dominique may not be nice-"

"She was yelling at Maddie for what London did!"

"-but you could have killed her, which would result in far too much paperwork for me. Fire is useful, but it is not how to make people like you. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir."

* * *

**Exception**

By the time it's all over, they're fast asleep. Moseby sighs. He doesn't want to wake them up, so the yelling will just have to wait until morning.

Honestly, what were they thinking? How on Earth had they unearthed a criminal enterprise? Why had they thought busting the cons themselves was a good idea?

The answer to the last one was simple: They were teenagers. They were reckless. They didn't trust him or their parents enough to tell them that something would go wrong before it went wrong. Normally, they were capable of fixing their problems on their own. They hadn't thought that this would be different.

Absentmindedly, Moseby started to fill in the latest round of chaos-related paperwork; bringing down an entire evil organization did not involve nearly so much as some events he had done this for, but Form 38-FB (for incidents involving a police investigation not focused on the hotel) was incredibly long and nitpicky. At least it wasn't as bad as Forms 23-E (for incidents involving scientific accidents) 23-G (for incidents involving the altering of reality, including magic and dimensional crossings), or 24 (for incidents involving the Martin twins), all three of which he could complete in his sleep at this point.

 _Think on the bright side,_ a voice in his head commanded, _this one isn't repeatable. No one died, and the criminals were caught._

 _The real bright side is that I get to captain the SS Tipton next year,_ Moseby thought. _Five more months and then I never have to deal with these kids again._


End file.
